20 November 2017
Apple’s update last month made my iPhone 6s run slower and its battery drain faster. That sucked, but I wasn’t really pissed about it, because I was already looking for one more reason to give up that phone. It’d been a little hinky from the start and had gotten worse. It would hang, wouldn’t Bluetooth, needed frequent reboots and the buttons were messed up. Glitchy. Weird for Apple, but it can happen.
Anyhow, the software upgrade was the I-Just-Can’t-Anymore moment for me, so I went straight to T-Mobile and came out with a pair of brand-new Model 8 iPhones. It required $40 a month more, but that includes a third telephone line. I don’t need that, but it was required in the deal for some reason. A similiar thing happened at Cox for my internet at home. I actually have to pay more because I didn’t want any stupid landlines. Weird times we live in.
One of my new phones is the big-screen version. It’s a little too large to pocket, but I thought Beth would like it, since she carries hers in a purse. As soon as she saw it, though, she was “fuck that huge thing” and went for the smaller one. Everyone says I’ll get used to the bigger version, no problem.
So, as I sit and switch out the the phones, delighting in their new features, I also fight the growing sense of having merely been a very well-behaved consumer today and I wonder who was in control? And did I do any actual thinking in this process?
After all, on cue, I approved Apple’s update that finally ruined my experience enough. I promptly went to a place that required more money for extra merchandise I didn’t need. Yet, I felt like I made a pretty good deal, today. I even thanked Norma, who took my money. She was very professional. They all were.
Like some pro circuit, retail-cowboys, cutters and nutters, they called me in, led me through the chutes, took what they wanted and sent me back to the pasture with new tags. I’m not sure what to think about that, but you kind of have to admire it.
At least my phone has a big ass screen on it.
—Michael Lane
